Climate Change: ‘Before the Flood’ by Leonardo DiCaprio

As a fan of biology, I enjoy learning about the ecosystem and definitely believe in climate change.  I’d heard about this documentary by Leonardo DiCaprio, and managed to track down where to watch it free.

It’s right here:

It’s about an hour and a half long and is very informative.  Cleverly explained for the layperson, the documentary covers many areas of earth, from reduction of coral reefs to forests in Indonesia being burned down for palm oil plantations.  It discusses how carbon dioxide and methane lead to global warming and rising sea levels, and how consumers can make simple changes to make a difference, like switching from beef (high methane output and land use) to chicken.


Personally, I do feel that as a human race, we are completely on track to ruining this planet.  I think it’s easy not to take seriously because it’s hard to comprehend how the actions of individuals can have a huge impact on such a huge planet.  But over time and with larger scales of everything that goes hand-in-hand with an ever-increasing world population, the compounded actions of many individuals can have a huge impact.  It’s hard to quantify accurately and seems like an abstract concept, so we don’t bother doing anything about it even though we all know there’s probably at least a grain of truth to it…

It’s like eating the extra biscuit everyday and realising 10 years down the line that you’ve gained 20kg in weight.  Where did that extra weight come from??  Well, it’s probably the 3,650 biscuits you ate.

The climate changes are happening so slowly that we barely notice the impact on a day-to-day or even year-to-basis.  Sure, summers seem to be getting hotter, and sure, there were lots of hurricanes and floods this year compared to last year… these things happen and it all feels normal.

I’m sure that one day in the not-too-distant future, humanity will wake up to some kind of climatic disaster and everyone will be asking ‘where the hell did that come from?’…

And then we’ll realise it’s probably all of that carbon dioxide we’ve been releasing into the atmosphere for decades from burning forests, burning fossil fuels and raising billions of cows that’s increased the temperature causing the melting of ice that raises sea levels and releases more methane… all of those individual actions had an impact after all.

So actions: eat less/no beef/meat, use solar power (I have ordered myself a solar panel and solar powered battery, perhaps I’ll do this on a larger scale one day), encourage renewable energy sources, stop burning forests and stop using fossil fuels.

Hm, this list sounds a bit trite and it doesn’t feel like I’d change the world by doing these things… but imagine if EVERYONE followed these actions – that would probably be a step in the right direction.  Ideally, we need political leaders to make the big changes regarding factories and where our home power comes from, but we can all be aware of the part we play.


Banking to Buddhism: Five lessons from a woman who left the City for Bhutan

I remember reading this article a few months ago and feeling inspired.  As a society, we tend to get so caught up in work and money, that we forget about the ‘important’ things in life.  The fact that we should be working so we can enjoy LIFE.

Work should never take priority over everything else in life, but sometimes it does.

Sometimes people have to go through a horrific experience to realise what is really important in their life.  And thankfully, some of them share their stories so we can learn from their life experiences.

Here is the story of Emma Slade who was robbed by a gunman and how the experience changed her whole life.

Article from The Independent:

Emma Slade has not looked back since swapping her high-flying life for one of ultimate simpleness and peace, she talks to The Independent about the moment that changed everything 


In September 1997, Emma Slade completely overhauled her life.

A Cambridge graduate and chartered financial accountant at a fund management company working in Hong Kong – and previously New York and London – a business trip to Jakarta provided the context for her life-change.

Taking a break from the back-to-back meetings to unwind in her four star hotel, Slade opened her room door and came face-to-face with a gunman. After prodding the gun to her chest and leading her back into the room, where he raided through her belongings and jewellery, she ended up in the room with him for three hours believing these were her final hours alive. Armed police eventually swooped into save her thus triggering a complete reversal of her life.

“The biggest impact for me was post-traumatic stress disorder,” she tells The Independent. “I’ve tried to make people understand what having this feels like including the confusion of the past and the present, there is no separation.

“But, mainly, I felt a great deal of compassion and sorrow for the man who had held me captive because he came out of the situation worse than I did, to be honest… the biggest impact was this feeling of concern and compassion for him.”

Following the burglary, Indonesian police showed Slade a picture of the partially-nude hostage taker surrounded by a pool of blood, an image firmly etched on her brain for years later.

“I didn’t feel any anger or hatred towards him. I just felt a huge sorrow for the suffering of this situation,” she says.

She describes this realisation as an important moment in her spiritual journey, one that led her to abandoning her trouser-suits and high heels to become a Buddhist nun in Bhutan.

“I do think that incident propelled me to a different part, otherwise I would have carried on as a hugely successfully, articulate, well-dressed banker… once you think you are going to die you do start to live your life in a different way.”

Slade says she increasingly began to feel that making money and having a career – two things she had equated with success and happiness – were a very small part of who she actually was.

“I wanted to explore more what it is to be a human being and what is this strange feeling of kindness we can have to each other even in these situations.”

Slade had therapy and visited a rehabilitation centre for hostages in order to tackle her PTSD before completely abandoning her financial career.

“I just felt I was worth more than that because I had not died,” she says. “I had survived this experience and I wanted to explore more of what I could potentially do with my life.”

She travelled the world for a few years, discovering yoga – which was not the popular health regime it is now. She returned to the UK basing herself in Somerset where she meditated intensively on her own for three months describing this stint as the point where she had “completely healed”.

Slade visited Bhutan for the first time in 2011 where the seeds of meditation and yoga which had been planted across her travels really came to fruition. She now splits her time between her hometown of Whistable, Kent and Bhutan, where her Buddhist instructor is. She learns Tibetan, has founded a charity for disabled children in Bhutan (of which the royalties from her new book will go to) and hopes to reside there permanently on a long-term retreat. She is currently the only western woman to have been ordained as a nun in Bhutan.

Despite the stark difference between her two career paths, Slade says she thinks she was born for a desire for meditation and Buddhism – even meditating before her financial career took off.

So what has she learned from leaving it all, uprooting and completely re-focusing her life?

No matter how drastic a career change you make, the tools you have learned can be transferred

While many would assume any skills learned in the capitalist banking world would be useless in the Tibetan mountains, Slade has proved this isn’t the case. For instance, she was always good at being in solitary situations – which can be many in the well-travelled world of banking – which set her up nicely for meditation abilities. Additionally, she now runs a registered charity so her financial, analytical and presentation skills certainly have not gone amiss.

Our focus is all too often outward and not inward

“When you’re working in the city the focus is often on how much money you are earning, what you can buy, how successful you are etc… there is no real inner understanding… There is a void inside, there is no development apart from a hap-hazard feeling that you want to be a nice person, there is nothing properly trained there,” she explains.

Success is not a measure of happiness

Slade looks back on her eight-year banking career and acknowledges she was successful but that did equate to happiness: “I wanted to be successful and do well, I wanted to get high marks and good bonuses and I thought when that happened I would be happy. I thought one would lead to the other and obviously I didn’t find it to be the case.”

Romantic relationships are not a guaranteed route to happiness

Undertaking a vow of celibacy, which is Buddhist monk and nun custom, Slade was also vowing to accept that finding a partner will not be the basis of her future or happiness, something she says is much of what happiness and fulfilment is modelled on int he Western world. While admitting relationships were not her “forte”, she has abandoned her previous wish to eventually get married.

“Most people’s idea of happiness is inextricably linked with the idea of finding someone they love and they spend the rest of their life with. That is what the idea is in the West, by saying no I’m saying my happiness is not about finding that person. That’s quite a big statement, let alone no sex… to say I do not believe that is the way for me in this life is a big decision.”

A traumatic situation does not mean your life is over

The experience in Jakarta actually kick-started Slade’s life as she knows it, she managed to turn the traumatic experience of kidnapping and violence into a life devoted to peace and helping others. As Slade puts it: “Difficulty isn’t the end of your life, it could be the start of something.”

Slade has been a practising nun for five years after her Llama in Bhutan instructed her to. During her studies she has completed 440,000 Buddhist practices – equating to eight hours per day. She is currently working towards a three-year long retreat in the Himalayas, which she will do when her 11-year-old son is old enough and ready.

“Ironically enough, I am deeply grateful the [hostage situation] happened otherwise I would just have carried on in that way acquiring more suits and staying in fancier hotels on business trips. That was never going to bring me to the person I have become now. It was like being a confused child, wanting lots of toys,” she reflects.

Emma Slade is the author of Set Free: A Life-Changing Journey From Banking to Buddhism in Bhutan (published by Summersdale, £9.99).

This article and any associated images were originally published here:

How to Tell If Someone Is Lying: 10 Tells and Clues (Ranked in Ascending Order of Reliability)

Some of the things we’ve been taught are wrong; others are telltale signs. Combine them all for best results.

If you’re suspicious that someone isn’t telling the truth, can you look the person in the eyes and tell? Well, let’s try. Here are what might be three facts about lying. Can you tell which one (if any) is a lie?

The average person hears between 10 and 200 lies per day.
Strangers lie to each other three times within the first 10 minutes of meeting, on average.
College students lie to their mothers in one-fifth of all interactions.
According to Pamela Meyer, author of the book Liespotting and presenter of a TED Talk with more than 16 million views, the answer is: They’re all true. So if we’re being lied to that often, how can we do a better job of catching the prevaricators we interact with?

There are behaviors and tells that should make you wonder whether the person you’re dealing with is being truthful. Here are 10 things to look for, culled from the advice of Meyer and other experts, and presented in increasing order of reliability.



1. Inconsistency
We tend to think that liars are the ones who can’t keep their stories straight, but we’ll list this so-called tell first, and thus least reliable, because there are other explanations for changing stories. It’s simply too easy, and deceptive, to rely on inconsistency as a proxy for deceit.

In fact, most truthful people, when they’re asked to retell a story several times, will remember additional details each time–which means the stories they tell will change. One theory for this is that when you think you remember a past event, you’re actually remembering the last time you remembered it.

2. Suspicious expressions
There are some tells that can suggest lack of veracity: blushing, blinking, flared nostrils, fake smiles. Notice them, remember them, pay attention. However, don’t read too much into them

Because while they may be indications, there is simply too much room for false positives to go by expressions alone. It’s really difficult even for trained, experienced interrogators to pick out a liar on the basis of facial expressions.

3. Repeating the question
Maybe they’re ensuring they heard you correctly. Or maybe they’re stalling for time, or else trying to unpack what you’ve asked, and figure out how much you know. If they’re doing this, note it, and weigh it with some of the others on the list.

4. Unnecessary superlatives
Absolutely. Tremendous. Literally. Yes, there are times when these words are appropriate, but they’re the exception to the rule. People who insist on peppering their speech with them might be trying to bolster their argument or distract you.

5. A desire to shut everything down
They don’t want to talk, or they want to move the conversation along quickly to another subject. Is that because you’re that boring a conversationalist–or perhaps they’re eager to move out of the zone of deception into a safer space?

Again, this isn’t a foolproof tell, but it’s another piece of evidence to consider as you weigh the likelihood that you’re being told something untruthful.

6. Qualifying language
People who are being honest sometimes like to remind you that people in general aren’t always honest. How? By using phrases like, “In all candor” or “If I’m being completely truthful” or “If I had to swear on a stack of Bibles … ”

Be on the lookout for these. Think of it like that old saw “If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.” Here, if you have to emphasize that you’re telling the truth, you might well be lying.

7. Flourishes in the word no
As my colleague Justin Bariso points out, key tells could be when people “say no and look in a different direction,” “say no and close their eyes,” “say no after hesitating,” “say noooooooo, stretched over a long period of time,” or “say no in a singsong manner.”

Trick: Force them to say the word no to an oblique or open-ended question. “Did you file a false expense report?” as opposed to “I’m curious about the accuracy of our expense reports. Do you have any insight into that?”

8. Failing to remember details upon retelling
This seems like No. 1 above, but it’s different: It’s the case in which the person talking doesn’t add new details that contradict him- or herself, but also can’t recall what he or she previously said.

A trick (also from Bariso’s interview of former FBI counterintelligence agent LaRae Quy): Ask them to tell the story backward. It’s simply harder to keep details straight if you’re asking them to relate a madeup story in a different order than they learned it.

9. Inappropriate emotions
You’re looking here for incongruity: terrible news–but a joking attitude. Supposedly good news–but overly tempered enthusiasm.

It’s tricky in some cases–but Meyer uses the gruesome video examples of two mothers, one whose daughter was murdered, and the other who murdered her children, to show how this works. The first woman’s emotion is raw, angry, undiluted. The second woman, who is trying to hide a terrible secret, can’t pull it off–she doesn’t actually know how a victim of such a gruesome crime would act because it’s not imaginable.

10. Contempt
Consider this one a bonus–a tell that lets you know when someone holds you in contempt but attempts to continue the conversation anyway.

Contempt doesn’t mean necessarily that someone is lying, but it does mean that you should consider the conversation over. Because contempt is a combination of anger and moral superiority, it’s almost impossible to develop rapport with someone who feels that way. Meyer says there is a reliable tell:

It’s marked by one lip corner pulled up and in. It’s the only asymmetrical expression. And in the presence of contempt, whether or not deception follows — and it doesn’t always follow — look the other way, go the other direction, reconsider the deal, say, “No, thank you. I’m not coming up for just one more nightcap. Thank you.”
Remember, these are all potential pieces of evidence. No one of them indicates for certain that somebody is lying, and it’s also possible to get false positives. As Meyer says, “Look, listen, probe, ask some hard questions, get out of that very comfortable mode of knowing, walk into curiosity mode, ask more questions, have a little dignity, [and] treat the person you’re talking to with rapport.”

Combine all that, and you’ll have a pretty good idea whether you’re being told the truth.

This article and any associated images were originally published here:

11 simple ways to make your boss love you

Every manager and every workplace is different, but speaking generally, the best way to get your boss to like you is to do great work.

That said, if you’re looking to really bowl them over — and potentially even become their favorite team member — there are a few simple strategies you can use.

Business Insider looked into scientific research and expert opinion and came up with 11 tricks to help you wow the higher-ups.


Try to solve problems on your own

In his 1948 book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” Dale Carnegie includes an anecdote about Leon Shimkin, who was then a general manager at publishing house Simon and Schuster.

Shimkin told Carnegie that he’d devised a way to drastically cut meeting times: He informed his team that they couldn’t present any problems unless they’d first tried to think of a solution.

Impress your boss with your problem-solving skills (and spare everyone from hearing you drone on) and only bring dilemmas to meetings when they’ve proven absolutely unsolvable.

Always demonstrate your value to the company

Your boss doesn’t need to hear about how you want a promotion because you want a more prestigious title. If you’re asking for anything — a title bump, a raise, or more responsibility — show how it will benefit your boss, and the organization as a whole.

As counterintelligence expert Robin Dreeke previously told Business Insider, you always want to ask yourself: “How can I inspire them to want me?” Sometimes it’s not enough to do stellar work. If you want your boss to love you, you’ll have to demonstrate how you’re critical to their personal success — and the company’s.

Tweak your communication style to match theirs

Again, part of your job is to make your boss’ job easier.

As professor Michael Watkins told the Harvard Business Review, it’s on you to find out early on how your manager prefers to communicate. Is it Slack? Email? Face-to-face conversations? And how often should you check in?

Watkins also said that if there’s a mismatch between your style and your boss’ style — for example, one of you prefers to check in more often — it’s important to have an open conversation about that.

Ask for advice

You might be wary of asking your boss anything — whether it’s how they got to this point in their career or which marketing strategy they think you should go with.

But research from Harvard Business School suggests that asking for advice doesn’t make you look stupid — it can make you seem more competent, which is presumably how you want your boss to see you.

In one experiment, 170 university students worked on a series of computer tasks and were told they would be matched with a partner who would complete the same tasks. (The partner was really a computer simulation.) When they’d finished the tasks, the “partner” either said, “I hope it went well” or “I hope it went well. Do you have any advice?”

As it turns out, students who’d been asked for advice rated their “partner” more competent than those who hadn’t been asked for advice.

Remember, too: It’s better to ask for their advice than their opinion. As psychologist Robert Cialdini previously told Business Insider, asking for advice creates a partnership between you and your boss and encourages them to be more supportive of your idea.

On the other hand, when you ask for their opinion, they take a step back and become more of an objective evaluator.

Get to work early

Research from the Michael G. Foster School of Business at the University of Washington suggests that employees who get into the office early are generally perceived by their managers as more conscientious and receive higher performance ratings than employees who arrive later.

And it doesn’t matter if those who get in later stay later, too.

If you feel that you’d be more productive working from, say, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. instead of 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., consider explaining the situation to your manager and confronting their potential “morning bias” head-on.

Manage up

“Managing up” is a term for learning what your boss really cares about and making sure you deliver on that.

As Dave Kerpen, founder and CEO of software company Likable Local, previously told Business Insider, “It’s about helping your manager look great to his or her manager. And ultimately by doing that you’re going to position yourself better for success.”

Kerpen expects his team at Likeable Local to manage up to him. For example, he doesn’t care that his head of marketing shows up late almost every day — as long as she’s on time Monday morning, delivering a great report at the company-wide meeting.

Kerpen recommends either asking your boss directly what’s important to them or subtly trying to figure it out on your own.

Set stretch goals

Leadership-development consultancy Zenger/Folkman spent more than five years collecting upward of 50,000 360-degree evaluations on more than 4,000 individual employees.

According to their findings, there’s one behavior that can make employees stand out (to their boss and the rest of their coworkers): Setting stretch goals.

In other words, Zenger/Folkman execs write in The Harvard Business Review, top employees “set — and met — stretch goals that went beyond what others thought were possible.”

Interestingly, most people didn’t realize that high goals were so important, suggesting that setting stretch goals is meaningful because it’s not expected.

Pay attention to detail

If you consider yourself more of a big-picture person, you’d best start attending to the small stuff, too.

Ryan Holmes, CEO of Hootsuite, wrote in a LinkedIn post that at his company, “even what seems like a small technical glitch can end up affecting a lot of clients in a short period of time. An employee who can be trusted to catch such small errors truly begins to stand out among the crowd.”

Say ‘thanks’

Expressing gratitude for your boss’ feedback — even if it’s negative — can make them feel warmer toward you, according to a 2011 study from the University of Southern California.

In one experiment, about 200 undergrads were told that they had been assigned a partner and were supposed to review a draft of instructions the partner had written about how to assemble parts of equipment. (In reality, there was no partner and the instructions had been written by the experimenter.)

Some participants were told they were the supervisor in this relationship; others were told they were the subordinate. In addition, all participants took a pretend test of their abilities and some were told they weren’t that competent.

When the experimenter returned notes from the “partners,” some said, “I just wanted to let you know that I received your feedback on my draft.” Others said the same thing, along with, “Thank you so much! I am really grateful.”

As it turns out, participants in the supervisor position who’d been told they weren’t that competent were nicer when their partners were grateful.

When their partners weren’t grateful, the supervisors whose competence had been threatened were more likely to respond by denigrating those partners, saying they were unintelligent, incapable, and incompetent. You might say gratitude prevented the threatened supervisors from acting like jerks.

Take a vacation

According to analysis by Oxford Economics for Project: Time Off, workers who take all their vacation time are 6.5% more likely to get a promotion or a raise than those who leave over at least 11 days of paid vacation time.

Of course, that doesn’t mean taking a vacation directly causes you to get a promotion — it could be the case that better workers feel they’re more entitled to a vacation.

But as Shawn Achor, author and CEO of GoodThink, Inc., writes in The Harvard Business Review, these findings do suggest that working yourself to death doesn’t necessarily lead to success.

“The extra face time doesn’t help you,” Katie Denis, senior director of Project: Time Off, told The Boston Globe. “There’s something to this ‘refreshed thinking,’ too. Vacations allow you to be more creative.'”

It’s hard to imagine that your boss wouldn’t appreciate your increased creativity post-break.

Speak up

Don’t hide your opinions from your coworkers.

Jenna Lyons, president and executive creative director of J. Crew Group Inc., told Motto that she advises people to share their perspectives: “I find it impossible to understand where a person stands if they don’t join the conversation.”

Don’t be afraid of looking stupid, either. As Lyons said, you should “never be afraid to pitch an idea; we all have good ones, and we all have bad ones.”

This article and any associated images were originally published here:

A self-made millionaire reveals how you can stop working in fewer than 10 years

I absolutely love the idea of early retirement. Although I wholeheartedly believe in living in the present moment, we must remember to plan for our future too – so we can continue to enjoy the ‘present moment’ beyond our working years.

I felt very inspired by an article written by Grant Sabatier who reached financial independence by the age of 30.  He wrote about five steps on how to do it:






The steps are fully explained in the original article, which is available here:

Dormant bacteria and viruses are reappearing as climate change affects permafrost

Long-dormant bacteria and viruses, trapped in ice and permafrost for centuries, are reviving as Earth’s climate warms

Throughout history, humans have existed side-by-side with bacteria and viruses. From the bubonic plague to smallpox, we have evolved to resist them, and in response they have developed new ways of infecting us.

We have had antibiotics for almost a century, ever since Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin. In response, bacteria have responded by evolving antibiotic resistance. The battle is endless: because we spend so much time with pathogens, we sometimes develop a kind of natural stalemate.

However, what would happen if we were suddenly exposed to deadly bacteria and viruses that have been absent for thousands of years, or that we have never met before?

We may be about to find out. Climate change is melting permafrost soils that have been frozen for thousands of years, and as the soils melt they are releasing ancient viruses and bacteria that, having lain dormant, are springing back to life.

In August 2016, in a remote corner of Siberian tundra called the Yamal Peninsula in the Arctic Circle, a 12-year-old boy died and at least twenty people were hospitalised after being infected by anthrax.

The theory is that, over 75 years ago, a reindeer infected with anthrax died and its frozen carcass became trapped under a layer of frozen soil, known as permafrost. There it stayed until a heatwave in the summer of 2016, when the permafrost thawed.

This exposed the reindeer corpse and released infectious anthrax into nearby water and soil, and then into the food supply. More than 2,000 reindeer grazing nearby became infected, which then led to the small number of human cases.

The fear is that this will not be an isolated case.

Read the full BBC article here: 

36 questions that can make two people fall in love?

I’ve seen a number of articles about the ’36 questions’ that can make two people fall in love.  I’ve even watched a Ted talk on it!  It’s an interesting idea… one of the articles mentioned that the main intention/outcome is to build intimacy, so the exercise can be practiced with friends and family as well as potential or actual lovers.

Certainly spending the time to get to really know someone does help to build trust and intimacy, and I imagine knowing the answers of these questions at an early stage of a new relationship will probably accelerate that process.

Will you give it a go?

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?


25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …”

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

These questions were taken from this article: